Trashley: Twenty-Seven

More Than Ramen

My trip to Joshua Tree started with Ashley locking me out of her car and ended with me being open to having kids since Ashley’s were so cute. I thought I knew myself and was shocked by my change of heart.

Joshua Tree- where all your problems are solved.

I’ve never wanted kids, and my lifestyle is not childproof. I have a white couch and a really cool knife collection, and it would be easy to mistake a bottle of water in my fridge for a THC-infused sparkling soda. Kids are loud and messy, and there’s nothing worse than the sound of a kid crying except the sound of a kid laughing. When I got back to Los Angeles, I had therapy and filled my therapist in on my latest life update.

“And what will happen if you have a baby?” my therapist asked. “Do you think Ashley will help raise it?”

“Yeah, that’s the plan. Ashley would live here and then go back to Minnesota for a week every month to see her other kids.”

“Lauren, having a baby will connect you to Ashley forever. Are you worried about that? You’ve seen what type of parent she is. She left her pregnant wife and toddler — ”

“Well, Ashley said her wife got pregnant without telling her.”

“Right, but we also know Ashley is a liar —