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Trashley: Part Fifteen
The Ashley Update
Ashley had just deposited a check for thirty grand into my bank account for work I hadn’t done yet. I was both shocked and delighted. It’s almost like she knew how much I loved getting free money. I was still working on Grand Canaria, which I quickly discovered was the Bakersfield of Spain. Time passed differently on the island: I’d only been there two weeks but it felt like three.
Everyone I worked with loved my Ashley stories. I started doing a bit at breakfast every morning called The Ashley Update, as though I was a news anchor — which I once was — so I nailed the voice.
Good morning, this is Lauren Reeves coming to you live from The Hotel Calderones with breaking news. Ashley has been spotted on the 105 Interstate in California for the third time in two days. When questioned by her girlfriend about why she keeps going to Inglewood, she responded she was going there to buy weed, even though she had just ordered four months’ worth through the Eaze app, raising suspicions about her drug use. More on this breaking story as it develops. In other news, an entire TV Production company has been stranded on an island with inedible food, which has been incredible for their weight loss goals, yet wreaking havoc on their health.
