Money Mantras

For people who are serious about making money fall out of the sky.

This woman is incredibly happy because she’s rich as fuck.

Everyone needs to stop clicking on headlines claiming, “Make one thousand dollars in two hours with this one weird trick” or, “This website will pay you two hundred fifty dollars, and all you have to do is blink.” These articles, unfortunately, are fake news. They’re rinse-and-repeat stories posted by some dude named Gareth, who squats in his parent’s basement and hasn’t showered in four days. But every time you click on the bait, he makes a pretty penny. Literally, one penny. Don’t be like Gareth. You, my friend, don’t have time for his bullshit.

There’s so much money out in the world waiting for you to take it. It’s time to start making money the easy way, through the power of manifestation. That’s right, the Universe is my bank, and it can be yours too.

This woman died surrounded by her loved ones, fives, tens, and twenties.

Right before the Pandemic, I asked my gay friend Cynthia if she’d like a lot of unexpected money. She said yes. I asked her how much. She thought for a minute and then said, “I want fifteen thousand dollars.”

I nearly choked to death, laughing.

“Cynthia, you could have as much money as you want. Are you sure you only want fifteen…